The Vestigial Organ Recall
by kmd5133
Summary: Sheldon gets sick. The guys bail on him, so it's Penny to the rescue
1. Chapter 1

Title: The Vestigial Organ Recall

Rated: G

Disclaimer: I do not work for the production company or have any affiliation with the 'tiffany' network. I do not own the characters, nor do I take any monetary compensation for this. But I do quote awesome 80's movies. "I don't want to sell anything, buy anything, or process anything as a career."

* * *

**Chapter One**

"I'm sure it's because you bought the wrong mustard Leonard," Sheldon said in a matter of fact tone of voice.

Leonard wasn't having it. "You're blaming me for your upset stomach? If your food didn't taste right, then why did you eat so much of it?"

Raj and Howard looked at each other in a panic.

_YELLOW ALERT!_

"My digestive distress has nothing to do with the quantity of the food, but the quality. Really Leonard, you should understand given your own problems with lactose intolerance."

Leonard spoke calmly to Sheldon. "Here's the thing Sheldon, as a fellow 'digestive distress' sufferer my advice is to take some antacids and lie down for a while. We still have two hours before we have to get to the movie theater."

Sheldon laid his had across his stomach and said, "I know that Leonard, what I wanted to impart to you is that had you not purchased this sub par mustard, I wouldn't be sick at all."

_Sick. RED ALERT! RED ALERT! Battle stations! Diffuse situation! Do not let it escalate!_

Leonard looked to Howard. Howard looked to Raj. Raj looked to Leonard. They shared an unspoken moment. They had run drills for this. They could remedy this.

Leonard spoke first, "I'm sorry Sheldon, I won't let it happen again. But, like I said take some antacids and it will 'pass'."

"Yeah dude, I'm sure you'll be fine." said Raj.

Howard dropped the logic bomb suggestion. "Don't feel pressured just because we pre-paid for the tickets."

"Fine, fine," Sheldon muttered as he stalked towards the bathroom, "sub par mustard and he thinks a couple of antacids are going to fix it. Why I should trust his advice, I don't know."

With the snick of the door closing, Leonard breathed a sigh of relief.

_Stand down from Red Alert_

Howard whispered to Leonard, "Do you think we've escaped Condition Bile Yellow?"

Leonard glanced towards the bathroom door and said under his breath, "I'm not sure, but good call in providing the out for us with the pre-paid tickets."

Howard looked pleased with himself. "Yeah, if he's unable to go, even Sheldon wouldn't want us to miss all six Alien movies on the big screen."

**1 ½ hours later**

"I'll stay Sheldon if you want me to," Leonard said, hoping he'd say no.

"No Leonard, this is not the type of illness when one wants others around. I have plenty of fluids to keep myself from dehydrating."

Leonard started back pedaling towards the door in Sheldon's bedroom. "Okay then, I hope you feel better."

"Thank you Leonard," sighed Sheldon.

Leonard came sprinting down the hall.

Howard barely had time to ask, "Well?"

Leonard squawked out in a sotto voce, "Quick get out the door before he changes his mind!"

**In the theater**

As they watched the alien burst out of Kane's chest, Raj whispered to the others, "Remind you of anyone?"

Howard and Leonard giggled like a couple of schoolgirls.


	2. Chapter 2

Penny let out an exasperated sigh as she leafed through her mail. It was bad enough having worked a double-shift, but to be greeted by a pile full of bills when you came home was not good for the psyche. As she started the long trudge up the flights of stairs to her apartment she felt as though the out of order sign on the elevator was mocking her. All she wanted to do was collapse into bed and sleep for a week. As she neared the landing for the fourth floor she saw the door to apartment 4A was slightly ajar.

_Damn, I don't want to see Leonard right now!_

She knew she should be excited to see her boyfriend, but right now she just didn't want to deal with him. She had missed him and the guys so badly when they had gone to the North Pole for three months, that she had thrown her self into a relationship with Leonard immediately when he returned. Now she wasn't sure if it was such a wise decision. And she surely didn't want to talk about their relationship when she was so tired and irritable.

If I can just sneak by and be quiet, maybe he won't hear me

A muted voice floated out of the doorway as she tiptoed past. "Penny?"

_Crap _

"Oh, hey Sheldon," Penny replied, still moving towards her own door.

"Penny, I don't feel well."

_Double crap_

Penny turned around to see Sheldon swaddled up in his comforter at the threshold of his apartment.

"Sweetie is Leonard here?" she asked hopefully. Because even though she was just wishing she wouldn't run into him, she definitely wanted to now. Dealing with a sick Sheldon would just be the capper for her night.

"No, Leonard is at the movies with Raj and Howard."

"Well, it's nearly midnight. I would think he should be home soon."

Sheldon shook his head from side to side. "No, they are at a marathon of the Alien movies. I don't expect he'll be home before tomorrow morning."

"Why don't I try to call him and see if he can come home sweetie?"

"I've already tried that Penny. He's not answering his cell phone." Sheldon said condescendingly to her.

"Well, maybe he'll pick up for me," she retorted.

"Penny, judging by what time it is, they are only half way through the second….please excuse me for a moment Penny."

Sheldon turned around and lurched toward the bathroom. Penny flipped open her cell phone to call Leonard, and followed Sheldon into the apartment. The call went straight to voicemail.

"Leonard, you owe me big time for this one," she said through gritted teeth as she listened to Sheldon throw up the remnants of his Chinese food.

"Penny?" Sheldon called from the bathroom.

"I'm right out here Sweetie."

"Penny, I think I might have food poisoning. Could you please take me to the hospital?"

"Are you sure you don't have a 24 hour bug?" she said hopefully.

Sheldon emerged from the bathroom looking wan and ashen. "It's not just the vomiting, nausea, and digestive distress Penny, I have begun to have a terrible pain in my abdomen as well. And, I think I'm running a temperature, but I don't know because the thermometer is not where it should be in the medicine cabinet."

Penny beckoned him closer. "Come here Sweetie, let me feel you forehead."

Sheldon normally loathed having his personal space invaded, but he was to sick to care right now. He walked over to Penny and lowered his head. Penny first rested the back of her fingers lightly against his cheek, and then quickly moved to lay her palm against his forehead.

Penny gasped, "Sheldon, you're burning up!"

Sheldon smiled weakly at her. "Is this an appropriate time to say I told you so?"

Penny smiled back at him. "You'll be okay Sheldon, just grab your insurance card and we'll go to the emergency room."

"I need to get dressed Penny."

"Sheldon, pajamas are just fine, they'll probably make you put on a paper gown when we get there anyway."

Sheldon nodded in agreement. "I should probably bring my vomit bowl with me for the car ride."

_Vomit bowl? I'll make Leonard pay for this!_

"That's fine Sweetie. I'll carry it downstairs with us. Where is it?"

"It's under the kitchen sink," Sheldon said and added, "its yellow."

Penny quickly retrieved it. "Got it! Anything else you need?"

Sheldon shook his head no.

As they slowly descended the stairs Sheldon said, "Thank you for taking care of me Penny."

Penny smiled warmly at him. "You're welcome Sheldon."

**In the car**

"Open the window, the night air might make you feel less nauseous."

"I really don't feel good Penny. I think I'm going to be sick again."

Penny shot a quick look over to Sheldon. "Try to throw up out the window honey, if you can."

Sheldon made some urking noises and then proceeded to do what she suggested out the car window. Penny flipped open her phone again and stabbed the speed dial for Leonard's number.

"I apologize Penny," Sheldon croaked out in a gravelly voice, "it appears I was not successful in having my vomit completely on the outside of your car."

As Penny fished around for the roll of paper towels she had in the backseat, she kept her left hand gripped on the wheel, with her cell phone held in the crook of her shoulder up to her left ear, the call connected to Leonard's voicemail again.

Penny hissed into the receiver, "Leonard, I just wanted you to know. You're a dead man!"


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

Sheldon looked at the woman behind the reception desk and blanched. "Penny can we go to another hospital?"

Penny turned and shot an incredulous look at him. "What!? There is nothing wrong with this hospital. You've been here before. Stephanie works here. You remember Stephanie, don't you?"

Sheldon spoke to her as he would a small child. "Of course I remember Stephanie. I have a stomach ailment. It does not affect my mental faculties."

"Then please explain to me why now of all times when you're incredibly sick, would you want to go to another hospital?" Penny asked him pointedly.

"Do you remember the day we first met Penny?"

Penny's eyebrows shot up as she wondered were this conversation was going. "Of course I do Sweetie."

Sheldon continued, "And do you recall my mentioning where Leonard and I had been prior to our meeting you?"

She looked up at him, her eyes widening. "As I recall you said you were mast-"

Sheldon interrupted her. "The point is Penny, the receptionist behind the desk is the same woman from the sperm donor clinic."

"Oh honey, there is no need to be embarrassed. I'm sure she doesn't even remember who you are."

"But, Penny."

Penny shushed him, turned around and walked over to the receptionist. "Hi, my fri-"

Tap tap tap

"Penny"

"-end here is very ill," she said, ignoring Sheldon's tapping at her shoulder.

Tap tap tap

"Penny"

"He thinks he might have -"

Tap tap tap

She turned around to Sheldon to tell him to shut up.

"Pen…."

She had enough time to see his blue eyes roll up back into his head. He pitched forward into her and she tried to grab him as he fell like a stone to the floor.

"Sheldon!" Penny shrieked, "Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God! Somebody help me please!"

The PA announced CODE BLUE waiting room

Sheldon and Penny suddenly were surrounded by a couple of orderlies and an ER nurse. They had Sheldon bustled up in a gurney within moments and were racing him through a set of swinging doors towards the exam rooms. Penny made to follow them, but she was stopped by one of the nurses.

"I'm sorry Miss, you'll have to wait out here, unless you're immediate family."

Penny's mind was racing on overload. Sheldon was her friend. No, he was her best friend. But that wasn't good enough to get her through these stupid arbitrary doors.

"I'm his…….wife? she said hesitantly.

The nurse looked her over, and saw the fear in her bright green eyes. "That's good enough for me. Follow this way honey."

Exam room 5

"….syncope…"

"…Give him more O2..."

"…pressure is 105 over 75..."

"…temperature 101.8..."

"…heartbeat is steady…."

Penny stood back out of the way as the doctor and nurses swarmed around Sheldon like bees around a hive. The doctor glanced up and caught Penny's eye.

"Are you the wife?"

Penny didn't realize he was talking to her for a moment. Then it clicked. "Yes, yes I am. I'm Penny."

"Can you tell me what happened Penny? What his symptoms were?"

"He…he thought he might have food poisoning. He threw up twice before I brought him here. But I don't know much more. I only got home just before midnight," Penny said, her eyes rimming with tears.

"Dr. Davidson, he's starting to come around." said the nurse who had allowed Penny to come in.

Penny interjected, "He also said he had terrible abdominal pains."

The doctor looked back at her and asked, "What's his name?"

Penny choked out, "Sheldon….Sheldon Cooper."

"Alright," the doctor leaned in closer to Sheldon. He peeled back one of Sheldon's eyelids and flashed a tiny light in his eye. "Sheldon, Mr. Cooper, can you hear me?"

Sheldon blinked his eyes a couple of times and tried to focus on his surroundings. He might not know where he was, but he knew who he was. "That's Dr. Cooper."

Dr. Davidson smiled, "Oh great, a doctor. Doctors make the best patients, don't they Betsy?" he asked of the nurse who was checking Sheldon's blood pressure again.

Betsy rolled her eyes and smirked. "Oh yes, I couldn't agree more."

"I am a physicist, not a physician!" Sheldon proclaimed.

"Even better," said Dr. Davidson, "so, Dr. Cooper can you tell me when this all started?"

Sheldon went into minute detail of the last five hours while the doctor nodded and continued to examine him.

"So you think you have food poisoning?"

"Yes."

"Well Dr. Cooper, I'm going to feel along your abdomen for a moment. If it hurts, you let me know."

Dr. Davidson started pressing along the left side of Sheldon's abdomen. "Anything?"

"No, doctor." Sheldon replied with just the slightest bit of exasperation. He clearly had food poisoning, why didn't the doctor just accept it?

As the doctor pressed in the right lower quadrant of Sheldon's abdomen, he yelped out in pain.

Penny shot forward from where she had been standing. "What's happened?" she cried.

Sheldon's eyes teared up from the pain. "Penny it hurts!"

Dr. Davidson barked out, "Betsy, we're going to need him to have a CT A/P stat!" He turned back to Sheldon, "Dr. Cooper, do you have any allergies?"

"No, no…doctor what's wrong with me?" Sheldon asked, starting to get worried.

"I need a CT to confirm it, but I believe you have acute appendicitis." he said and turned away, walking over to the phone to dial radiology.

Betsy came over with a hospital gown. "Dr. Cooper, I'm going to need you to change into this. Do you need any help?"

"No, I believe I can manage."

She proffered a plastic bag with the hospital's logo on it. "You can put all of your things in here, and have your young lady hold onto them." Betsy walked away to confer with Dr. Davidson.

Sheldon looked over to her confused.

"She means me, Sweetie," Penny said, "Here, let me help you."

Sheldon looked anywhere but at Penny. "I don't think any help is necessary."

"Sheldon, stop being so stubborn, you don't have anything that I've not seen before. So, give me your robe and pajama top," she said teasingly, but threw her best death glare on top of it to show him she was really serious.

When Sheldon finally met her eyes, he began taking off his robe immediately. He knew that look she was giving.

"Good, now arms up!" She deftly lifted off his undershirt and helped him into the hospital gown. She then tied the straps of the gown around his neck and helped him stand up.

"I would prefer to remove my pajama bottoms if you don't mind."

Penny stepped back to give him some room and some semblance of privacy. As he hooked his thumbs around the waistband to push his pants down, he leaned slightly forward and let out a gasp of pain. Penny was back at his side in an instant holding him up steady.

"Penny, I can't…I can't do it."

"I'll get the Sweetie"

"But, Penny!" Sheldon squawked, blushing furiously.

"Hey Sheldon," Penny chuckled to him as she pulled down his pajama pants and undershorts in one quick movement, "if you can't take off your best friend's pants when they need you to, what kind of best friend would you be?"


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

**Meanwhile at the Megaplex**

"I can't help it if I have a small bladder." Leonard whined to Howard as they stood in line at the concession.

Howard shook his head. "Leonard you nearly missed LV-426 being nuked from space! And, speaking of nuked, I got me a craving for some nachos." Howard patted his stomach and eyed the girl behind the counter.

Raj chimed in before he got to close to the counter to be able to speak at all. "Yeah dude, I think you need to chill on the 42 oz. drinks. You need to pace yourself for the next eight hours. You don't want to make yourself sick on sugary drinks."

_Sick_. They all looked at one another.

Howard had to ask. "Did he call you?"

Leonard smirked a little. "Yeah, I checked after the first movie ended. I had two missed calls from him"

Raj looked astounded. "Only two?"

"Well, I turned my phone off after that, so I can pretend that he isn't even calling me at all!"

"Smooth move my friend," said Howard as he went to switch off his phone. "Damn, he called me too."

"Me three. Do you think we should call him back? Raj looked at both of them questioningly.

He always was the weakest link.

Howard placed his hand on Raj's shoulder. "Stay strong Raj. You remember what happened last time. You don't want to get sucked into that vortex again."

Raj visibly shuddered, and '_blip_' off went his phone.

**Back at the hospital**

Penny watched nervously as the orderly wheeled the gurney away while Sheldon fretted the end of the blanket that was covering him with his long fingers. He looked back to Penny as he was whisked around a corner. Penny let out a sob that she had been holding in ever since he collapsed.

Betsy put an arm around her. "He'll be okay honey."

Penny wiped a stray tear from her eye. "I hope so."

Betsy led her away from the exam room and back to the waiting area. "I'll come back out and find you after the test is done. You just need to speak to Althea here to get all his information in the computer."

"Thank you Betsy"

Betsy smiled warmly at her, gave a slight nod of her head and went back through the double doors to the exam rooms.

Penny looked to Althea. "Hi, I never quite got a chance to finish my sentence when I was here earlier."

Althea cocked her right eyebrow. "Ah yes, you're the young lady who was with the young gentleman who did the face plant on my reception room floor."

"That would be me!" Penny put on her best smile as she didn't want to hassle with this woman.

Althea beckoned her to a chair at the side of the reception desk where the counter was lower so they could sit face to face. "Come on over her honey, we'll get all this paperwork taken care of. Has he ever been to the hospital before?"

Penny nodded her head and went on to verify all Sheldon's personal and contact information.

"Does he still have Blue Cross?"

Penny reached down to the plastic bag at her feet and rooted around until she found Sheldon's wallet and cell phone in his robe pocket. As she flipped open his wallet to find his insurance card, his cell phone his phone boomed out the Darth Vader theme. She nearly dropped the phone to the floor. She hastily handed over what she thought was his insurance card as she turned the phone around to see who was calling him. The display said **MISSY**.

_What? How? Should I?_

Penny pressed the answer button and tried to sound chipper. "Hi Missy, it's Penny!"

Missy sounded confused and more than a little tired. "Penny? Where's Shelly?"

Althea reached forward and touched Penny lightly on the arm.

"Missy, hold on a second, okay?"

"Honey, I don't think his Justice League of America card will do him much good here." Althea remarked matter-of-factly.

"Oh my God, I'm sorry!" Penny pulled out the correct card and gave it to Althea to scan.

A twangy voice yelled out of the cell phone Penny held in her hand. "Penny! What's going on? Where's my brother?"

Althea handed back Sheldon's insurance card and gave her the thumbs up. "You're all done honey, you can have a seat out in the waiting room."

"Penny!"

As she found a seat in the corner away from everyone else, Penny brought the phone back up to her ear. "Sorry about that Missy. I had to fill out some paperwork."

"Paperwork? After one o'clock in the morning? Where are you?" Missy's tone was starting to get panicky.

Penny thought about lying for half a second, but knew the truth was something all the Cooper's expected. "Honey, we're at the hospital."

"I knew something was wrong! I had a bad feeling all night. I just woke up from a terrible nightmare, and I just knew something was wrong with Shelly. I tried calling the apartment first, but there wasn't any answer. I started to freak, y'know?" Missy was talking faster and faster all the while her accent was getting thicker and thicker.

Penny could understand how she was feeling. "It's been pretty freaky here."

Missy's voice suddenly got very small. "Is he okay? Can I talk to him?"

Penny ran her thumb across the brown leather of Sheldon's wallet. "He's not with me right now. He's having a CAT scan of his abdomen. He thought he had food poisoning, but the doctor thinks he's got appendicitis."

"Oh my Lord, I'll have to call Mama."

"Missy are you sure you want to wake her? What time is it there?"

"It's after three here, but it'll be my hide if I don't call her."

Penny knew how strong willed Mary Cooper was. "Yeah, you probably should."

"She'll be calling you as soon as I'm done talkin' to her."

"Is this your day to be psychic?" Penny said half-heartedly.

Missy barked out a laugh. "More like an antenna. When Shelly's hurtin' bad, I know. It's a twin thing, although he'd say it was hokum. As for Mama, well, I think all mothers want to hear things first hand."

"I let you call her then. I have to try to reach Leonard again." Penny sighed.

"Isn't he there with you? I thought you two were a thing now?"

Penny didn't know what to say, but opted for a smattering of the truth. "Apparently other things are more important to him this evening than his best friend."

Missy took it as a sign to end their call so she could contact her mother. "Well, I'm sure it'll all work out. I've got to call Mama now. Bye Penny, call me back when you hear anything about Shelly."

"I will. Bye Missy."

Penny took the opportunity to call Leonard again before Mrs. Cooper called.

_Voicemail. AGAIN!_

"Leonard, I just wanted to let you know that Sheldon might have appendicitis. But it's not like you care or anything!" She could only stab the end button on her phone. It didn't have the same effect as slamming a regular phone receiver down, but she thought that maybe he would be able to feel the intent anyway when he finally checked his stupid messages.

Sheldon's phone spoke this time. "Resistance is futile. You will be assimilated."

Penny smiled. Sheldon always had his phone set to vibrate. She wondered what he had set for her ringtone. She'd have to check later, because right now she had to talk to his mother.

She took a deep breath and pressed answer.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

**Talking with Mrs. Cooper**

"You'll take care of my baby boy and do as I asked you to?" Mary Cooper was firm but calm with Penny.

"Yes ma'am, I will."

"Alright then, you call me right away with any news good or bad." She emphasized the word bad.

"I promise, Mrs. Cooper."

"I'll start callin' the others. Bye now, Penny"

"Bye, Mrs. Cooper."

Penny hung up Sheldon's cell phone and looked heavenward. How could she do what Mrs. Cooper asked of her? How would Sheldon react? Hopefully she wouldn't have to. Maybe Sheldon didn't have appendicitis. Maybe they could just give him some medicine and whatever he had would pass in a day or two.

_Maybe. Maybe._

She picked up a two week old copy of a tabloid magazine and started leafing through it looking at the hits and misses of fashion from the latest event in Hollywood. She wanted to let her mind go numb on whatever banality the latest starlet of the week was saying while she was waiting for the nurse Betsy. But Betsy didn't come for her, Dr. Davidson did.

He walked over to where she was sitting and sat down set to her. "Hey, Mrs. Cooper."

_Oh man, can you get in trouble for pretending to be someone's wife at a hospital?_

"Please, call me Penny." She plastered on what she thought was her most winning smile.

"Okay, Penny," He looked at her with great concern. "Well, I looked over the CT and your husband definitely has appendicitis. Now, I don't want to scare you, but he's going to need surgery right away."

"Oh my God!" Penny's eyes grew wide with fear. "Can I see him?"

"Sure, sure." the doctor said in a soothing voice. "You'll have about fifteen minutes before he heads over to the O.R. suite. The surgical team is getting prepped and ready."

"Is Dr. Barnett going to be doing his surgery?" Penny asked hopefully.

Dr. Davidson looked surprised. "Do you know Steph?"

"Yeah she used to date….um…..a friend of mine."

_Great fake wife I'm turning out to be. Almost saying 'my boyfriend'!_

"Sorry to disappoint you, but Steph, I mean, Dr. Barnett is not on call tonight. Dr. Martin will be performing the surgery." He took Penny's hand in his own. "But don't you worry, he's been practicing medicine for longer than both you or I have been alive."

Penny let out a soft chuckle as they both stood up. She gathered her purse and the bag with Sheldon's clothes and followed Dr. Davidson back towards the exam area.

Sheldon's face lit up when he saw Penny. "Hi, Penny! Did you know I'm going to have my appendix removed?"

He was way to chipper about this. Penny looked to Dr. Davidson. "Why is he so happy? What's wrong with him? Besides, you know the whole appendix thing?"

Dr. Davidson smiled. "Don't worry, we gave him a small dose of medication for the pain. That's why he might be acting unusually."

Sheldon interrupted any further explanation. "Penny, did you know that up until very recently that most people believe the appendix was a vestigial organ?"

"A vestigi-what?"

"That's _ves-ti-gi-al_ Penny, like in a vestigial tail or a gallbladder. Organs that science had thought we had evolved beyond. That although we are born with these organs, it was believed they were not really needed. I suppose the one that is still vestigial is a tail, and that's not even an organ. And, most of us have evolved being born without it. I tell you, I wouldn't mind having a prehensile tail. I could swing through the trees like monkey. Do you like monkeys Penny? Sheldon gazed up at her and hoped that she did.

_Whoa where did that come from?_

"Um, sure? Who doesn't?"

"I knew you would," he said smiling to himself, and then he frowned. "Penny?"

"Yeah, Sweetie?"

"I don't think I want my appendix removed."

Penny tried to be pragmatic. "I really don't think you have a choice."

"But Penny, it has been found that the appendix is host to a multitude of beneficial bacteria that replenishes the colon after one experiences an intestinal disorder."

"Well, yours is out of whack and it's got to come out." She gave him a stern look, not her death glare, but a look that said she meant business and he was going to do what she said.

He shrank from her gaze, nodded his head and looked down at his hands. "I-I'm frightened Penny. What is something happens during my surgery? What if I don't wake up? What if I'm not the same when I do wake up?" His lower lip started to quiver. "I wish my Mom was here."

"Your Mom! Oh Sweetie, I talked to her. She's going to get a flight out here tomorrow, or rather later today."

"You called my mother?" He looked up at her in disbelief.

"No honey, she called me, well Missy called first, then she called your Mom and then your Mom called me."

Sheldon stared at her as though she had lost her mind. "Why did Missy call you?"

"She was actually calling you. I answered your cell Sweetie."

His expression changed from one of disbelief to one of panic. "Why was she calling so late? Is she alright?"

Penny tried to calm him. "Missy is perfectly fine Sheldon. She said she got a feeling that you weren't."

His expression went right back to disbelief. "She believes that since we are twins, that there is some sort of other-worldly connection between us."

"She said that you would say it was 'hokum'"

Sheldon conceded. "She would be correct."

Penny pursed her lips to one side of her mouth. "I don't know Sheldon, seems pretty real to me. I bet your Mom believes it too."

"My mother would probably say that it was the Lord moving in mysterious ways."

_Here goes the first promise_

Penny spoke tentatively. "Speaking of your Mom, she wanted me to let you know that she was contacting her prayer group to pray for your health."

Sheldon looked away from Penny and sighed, but didn't say anything.

"She's your Mom Sheldon, she has her beliefs and you have yours."

"I know Penny." He hesitated for a few moments before asking. "Do you think I may call her before I go in?"

Penny looked over to Dr. Davidson and asked if they had time to make a call.

"Sure, you still have time, but make it brief."

**Galveston**

Mary Cooper was sitting at her dining room table with her hands clasped together when her phone rang. She picked it up before it had time to finish ringing once. "Penny darlin', is my boy okay?"

"Hi Mom, it's me."

"Shelly, thank the Lord! How's my Sweetpea?"

Sheldon was tried to remain nonchalant. "I have to have surgery Mom."

"I thought that may be. Just trust in the Lord and everything will be fine. Did Penny tell you that I contacted my prayer group?"

"Yes she did Mom. You didn't have to do that you know."

"I know you may not appreciate it Shelly, but it gives me great comfort."

The orderly had arrived to take Sheldon to the operating room.

"Mom, I have to go now."

Mary's voice wavered ever so slightly. "Alright Shelly, I love you very much."

Sheldon turned his head away from everyone and said quietly into the phone, "I love you too Mom."

"It'll be all alright honey, now let me speak to Penny."

Sheldon handed the phone to Penny. "She wants to speak to you."

Penny took the phone and held it up to her ear. "Mrs. Cooper?"

"Have you done like I asked?"

"Not yet, I haven't had the chance."

Mary's voice became stern. "You promised."

"I will right now."

Her voice softened as she held back her tears. "You're a good woman to do this for me Penny."

"Thank you, Mrs. Cooper."

"You go on now, call me when he's done with the surgery."

"Yes ma'am, goodbye" The phone made a hollow click as Mary Cooper hung up on her end.

Penny put Sheldon's phone in her purse and walked over to the gurney.

_Time for promise number two_

"Sheldon your Mom asked me to do something." She held up her hands in front of her to make a point. "Remember, this is from her." Penny leaned close to Sheldon's face so they were nearly touching and she fluttered her eyelashes along his cheek. "Butterfly kisses." She moved her head a fraction back so she was hovering right over him. She gently rubbed the tip of her nose against his own. "Eskimo kisses." She pulled back her head to look at him.

He closed his eyes and tilted his head towards her to make it easier. "You might as well do the rest. I know what's coming."

She kissed his left eyelid first. "This is from your Mama, who loves you so much." She kissed his right eyelid next. "This one's from Jesus who loves you too." She then softly kissed his forehead.

He looked up at her confused.

"That one was from me, because I love you too Sheldon."

He smiled at her and said. "I read online last week that a study has been done in Canada linking air pollution to appendicitis."

_Typical Sheldon, you tell him you care and he spouts out facts like he was on some quiz show!_

It was time to go. She walked along silently as the orderly wheeled Sheldon to the operating room. When they reached the surgical suite the orderly turned to her. "I'm sorry Miss, but you're not allowed in this area." He pointed further down the hall. "There's a lounge right over there."

Sheldon's hand suddenly shot out and grabbed hers. "Penny, I'm still scared."

She grasped his hand tightly and stroked his hair. "You are going to be just fine Sheldon Cooper! I'll make sure of that."

Their eyes met and he was instantly calmer. The orderly looked at her too and smiled. He'd seen it all before. Men were such babies.

Sheldon slowly relaxed his grip on her hand. "Thank you, Penny."

"You…will…be…fine." Penny was determined that nothing bad would happen to him.

Before the orderly could wheel him through the next set of double doors and away from her, Penny pulled him aside and spoke in a low and commanding voice. "Before anyone lays a hand on that man, I want to speak to the surgeon!"


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six**

Since the cafeteria had closed at midnight, Penny had to make do with the offerings from the vending machines. She sipped her diet cola as she slowly walked back to the lounge, absently looking at the artwork hanging on the walls to kill time. They mostly were reproduction prints of idyllic beach scenes. Images to soothe the nerves, but they weren't helping her at all. She had looked through the few magazines, newspapers and all the pamphlets in the waiting room to try and keep her mind occupied. But there was nothing now to do but wait. Sheldon had been in surgery for close to two hours. She has tried calling Leonard one more time, but the call still went to voicemail. She even tried calling Howard and Raj, but there cells were off also.

_Cell phone. Wasn't I going to check Sheldon's ringtone for me?_

Penny paged through the ringtones and listened, Leonard's made a double chirping noise and said 'Spock, this is Kirk'. Howard's was the sound of the transporter from Star Trek. Raj's was the theme from 2001: A Space Odyssey. She was a little nervous to play hers, what sci-fi wonder did he have in store for her? When she played it she was a little surprised when she heard the unique voice of Thom Yorke singing '_In pitch dark I go walking in your landscape. Broken branches trip me as I speak.'_

_He actually used a Radiohead song for my ringtone!_

She wondered if he had chosen '_There, There'_ because it was what he said when he tried to comfort her, or if he had listened to the lyrics.

_It had to be the title. He wouldn't find meaning…I mean he doesn't…_

Penny's thoughts were interrupted by Dr. Martin striding through the set of double doors. He was a tall man, even taller than Sheldon and resembled some kind of giant teddy bear. She had to crane up her neck to look at him.

He sat down next to her. "Everything was textbook. Dr. Cooper came through surgery just fine. He's in the recovery room right now."

Penny released the breath she had been holding. "He's really okay?"

"Yes, my dear, he's okay. His appendix hadn't perforated, but it was close. He's very fortunate that you brought him in when you did."

A few tears spilled down Penny's cheeks. Dr. Martin patted her arm. "Don't be upset. Like I said, you got him here in time. You'll be able to see him once he's moved into a room."

"Thank you doctor and I'm sorry about before." Penny looked away sheepishly.

"Not to worry. I'm always heartened when a person displays such passion like that. It keeps me on my toes!" Dr. Martin smiled broadly at her and when she looked back and met his eyes, she could see her truly meant it. Penny returned her own grateful smile as he stood up to leave. "Well, I best be getting my reports done so the bureaucratic machine can keep rolling. I'll check in him again before he leaves recovery and later this morning before my shift ends."

"Thank you again doctor." Penny stood up to shake hands with him. He had a strong and steady grasp.

"You're most welcome, goodnight."

Less than an hour later a nurse came to bring Penny to Sheldon's room.

"You can stay for a few minutes, and please try to be quiet. There's another patient in the next bed."

Penny walked softly to the side of Sheldon's bed. The lights were dimmed and there was muffled snoring coming from the other side of the curtain that separated Sheldon from his current roommate.

She gently touched his cheek. "Hi Sweetie, how do you feel?"

Sheldon was still slightly doped up from the anesthesia. "I feel fine Penny. But how do you feel? You look awful."

Unwilling to let it totally slide Penny said, "Thanks Sheldon, you're not going to win any beauty contests either at this point!"

Insulting Penny had been the least of his intentions

_Why do I always say the wrong thing to her?_

"That's not what I meant Penny. Your attractiveness has not diminished. You looked tired is all."

"I am tired. It's really, really late Sheldon."

Sheldon looked around the room for a clock. "What time is it?"

Penny glanced down at her watch. "It's nearly four."

"Thank you for staying so long with me Penny. You really are my best friend."

Her heart melted. "Aw, thank you Sheldon. That means a lot coming from you."

"You're welcome. I will have to inform Leonard that he has been demoted from that position."

Penny muttered under her breath, "You're not the only one."

"Excuse me?"

"I said, is there anything I can get you before I go?" she prevaricated.

Hunching his shoulders together and shivering he said, "I'm cold Penny. Can you get me a blanket?"

Penny found an extra blanket in the small locker next to his bed. She tucked it loosely all around him. "Anything else?"

"Did you call my Mom?"

"Oh crap, I forgot!" Penny rummaged through her purse and brought out both hers and Sheldon's cell phones. She quickly checked hers to see if Leonard had called and she had somehow missed it. He didn't. She turned off her phone.

_Leonard can suck it! Let him worry now!_

"Penny, I'm still cold."

He's cold. I'm tired. How's this for a solution!

Penny lowered the rail on the right side of the bed and climbed in next to him and lay down on her right side facing him.

Sheldon looked panicked. "Penny, I'm not sure you are allowed to do that."

"Well, they can sue me or kick me out. Either way, you're cold, and I have plenty of body heat to share. Plus, we have to call your Mom." She was to frigging tired to care, let them try!

"Penny the best way to conduct body heat is if we were both naked with our bodies pressed together." he said without any idea of how it might sound to her.

"Sheldon?"

"That's what we did in the Arctic when the heat went out."

"What the - ?"

"Oops, I'm not supposed to talk about that."

Penny shook her head. "Consider it unheard! Why don't we call your Mom?"

Mary Cooper again picked up the phone before it completed the first ring.

"Penny?"

"Hi Mrs. Cooper! Everything went fine. I'm right here with Sheldon." Penny placed the phone between her and Sheldon so they could both hear.

"Shelly?"

"I'm here Mom. I'm okay."

"Praise be! Missy and I were worried." Relief flooded her voice and she said off to the side. "He's doing fine Missy."

Missy distinct voice could be heard from the background. "Let me talk to him!"

"You'll see him later. He needs to get his rest."

"Alright Mama."

Sheldon spoke up. "I thought only you were coming?"

"Missy said she had to see you for herself, and there's no arguing with her. Your sister is just a stubborn as you. I'll call your brother when the oil office opens, so I can use the ship to shore phone. His cell doesn't always work out on the rig. And Mother Cooper should be up in the next hour or so. I'll let her know too."

He smiled at the mention of her name. "Do you think MeeMaw can make some peanut butter cookies?"

"I think she might be able to whip up a batch for me to bring to her Moonpie."

"I love MeeMaw's cookies."

"I know Pumpkin. We all love her cookies. And, you know what else?"

"What?"

"We all love you too."

Sheldon didn't say anything. He just grinned and blinked his eyes a few times. He was starting to doze off.

Penny took the opportunity to answer. "He's smiling."

And to ask a question. "Mrs. Cooper, can I ask you a favor?

"Sure, anything for you."

"Would you sing Soft Kitty?"

Mary's clear alto came across the phone as though she was right there next to them.

_'Soft Kitty, Warm Kitty_

_Little ball of fur_

_Happy Kitty, Sleepy Kitty_

_Purr, purr, purr'_

"Goodnight my angels." When she didn't get any answer, she softly hung up the phone.

Sheldon and Penny were both sound asleep. The nurse who came into check on him didn't have the heart to wake Penny up and kick her out.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven**

**Emerging from the Megaplex**

Three sets of eyes squinted in the bright sunlight of a perfect Californian morning.

Raj continued the argument that had started inside the theater. "All I'm saying dude is that if they showed the two Alien vs. Predator movies in addition to the four Alien movies, they should also have showed the two Predator movies as well."

Howard nodded his head. "I heartily concur. I have them both on DVD. Maybe we can continue our movie fest, albeit on a smaller screen."

Leonard only said, "Oh no!" staring down at his cell phone.

Howard and Raj both looked at him and said at the same time. "What's wrong?"

"Sheldon called me four times."

"So?" said Howard.

"Penny called me four times too. Oh no!"

Howard looked aghast. "You didn't warn her? Ouch, classic boyfriend mistake." He looked at his own phone. "Yikes, she called me too. And, one from my mother."

"How many times?" Leonard asked, a panicky look taking over his eyes.

"Only once."

Raj chimed in, "She must be really pissed. She called me as well."

Howard looked at him. "My mother?"

"No. Penny." He looked at Howard askew. "Why would your mother be calling me?"

"Never mind, what did she say?"

Raj played back his phone messages on speaker. The first was from Sheldon, who sounded quite reasonable. "Hello Raj, this is Sheldon. Would you please tell Leonard to return to the apartment? My illness has apparently progressed." _beep!_ The message from Penny wasn't as kind. "You guys are so LAME! _beep!_

Raj looked at Howard. Again, the first call from Sheldon wasn't so bad. "Howard, this is Sheldon, would you kindly return my call or have Leonard call me. My situation has taken a turn for the worse." _beep!_ The message from Penny caused Howard to shudder. "You guys are in BIG trouble! You can't even imagine what I'm going to do to you. Just know this, it's going to be bad, very bad!" _beep!_ He inadvertently allowed his mother's message to begin playing. "How-wad, I'm taking Minnie Finkelstein to the podiatrist…" He pressed the end button as quickly as he could. "I don't think anybody wants to hear that!"

Leonard continued to stare at his phone. "I'm afraid to listen to mine."

"Dude, just do it. It's like a band-aid. You know, you just have to rip it off!"

"You're right Raj." Leonard pressed the button to play back his calls.

"Leonard, this is Sheldon, could you please return to the apartment?" _beep!_

"Leonard, apparently I may have possibly underestimated the severity of my illness. Could you please return to the apartment?" _beep!_

"Leonard, I think I might need to go to the hospital. Please come home." _beep!_

"Leonard, please do not force me to take a taxi. They are so unsanitary, and don't get me started on how they smell. Never mind, I think I hear Penny." _beep!_

"Leonard, you owe me big time for this one." _beep!_

"Leonard, I just wanted you to know. You're a dead man!" _beep!_

"Leonard, I just wanted to let you know that Sheldon might have appendicitis. But it's not like you care or anything!" _beep!_

"Sheldon's in surgery. I'm scared and you're not here! You're supposed to be his best friend. Why aren't you here? We're seriously going to have to talk!" _beep!_

"Oh crap." Leonard dialed Penny's number and started pacing back and forth. It went straight to her voicemail.

_This must be how she felt_

"Penny, I'm sorry. We're on our way."

"Is she pissed?" Howard asked.

"Voicemail." was Leonard's only reply.

Raj suggested, "Try Sheldon's phone."

Leonard mouthed the word voicemail to Howard and Raj. "Hey Sheldon, buddy! We just got the messages. We're on our way to the hospital." He paused for a second before adding. "I'm sorry."

**Room 212**

Sheldon woke because his right side was suddenly significantly cooler and someone was poking his stomach. His left side was much warmer and he instinctively tried to move closer to the heat source. He winced in pain when he tried to move and his eyes shot open. "Ow!"

A petite woman with brown hair and eyes was leaning over him. She whispered very quietly to him. "I'm sorry Mr. Cooper. I didn't mean to wake you. My name is Rosiela and I will be your nurse today."

Sheldon immediately corrected her. "That's Dr. Cooper. And it is quite alright, I feel adequately rested."

"I was just checking your dressings. I'll try not to disturb your wife and wake her too."

"My wife?" Sheldon was confused.

Rosiela pointed to the woman lying next to him. Sheldon remembered that Penny had gotten into the bed with him. But why was she still in the bed? He knew better than to wake her and tell her to move. She must have said she was his wife. But why? He didn't quite know what to do or say. So he said simply. "That's Penny."

Rosiela gave a half smile, wondering what type of patient she had on her hands. On the one hand, he was a doctor. And doctors made the worst patients. But on the other, his wife hadn't left his side all night, so how bad could he possibly be? "Okay, Dr. Cooper. How is the pain this morning?" She pointed to a chart on the wall showing numbers and caricatures of faces. "On a level of one to ten, one being barely painful to ten being the most pain you've ever been in, how would you say you feel?"

Sheldon thought for a moment. Actually, he thought for quite a few moments.

"Dr. Cooper?"

"I'm trying to quantify the numeric and cartoon representations to relay how I am currently feeling."

"And how is that?"

"I'm trying to determine the whether the feeling that I've been kicked by a mule translates into a six or a seven."

"Kicked by a mule?"

"Yes."

"Have you ever - ?"

"Yes."

"I'll go tell the doctor you're awake." Rosiela beat a hasty retreat out of the room. He was going to be a pill.

---

When the nurse left, Sheldon took the opportunity to look at Penny. Her rhythmic breaths blew gentle warmth across his neck. It was a comforting feeling. He craned his head so he could see her sleeping face. He had to admit to himself that she was really quite beautiful, and not just her outward beauty. There was something of her inner being that shone through even when she was asleep. He was still staring at her when Dr. Martin came in.

"Good morning, Dr. Cooper." he held Sheldon's chart in his hands. "I don't know if you remember be from last night, I'm Dr. Martin. And, how are you feeling this fine day?"

"As I tried to tell Rosiela, I have finally determined my pain level to be a seven."

"Well, we'll get you some pain meds to take the edge off."

"Thank you, it will be much appreciated."

"I'm just going to check your sutures. It'll be quick. I certainly don't want to disturb your wife. After last night, I think she deserves some sleep." He silently hummed to himself as he gave Sheldon the once over.

"Doctor, Penny's not my wife."

The doctor raised an eyebrow. "Sorry, your girlfriend, or is she your fiancée?" So the girl had lied about being the man's wife. He really didn't care that she did.

Sheldon felt he needed to set the record straight. "She is neither. She's my roommate's girlfriend."

"Huh, really? The way she acted last night, I would have thought differently."

Sheldon eyed the doctor nervously. "How did she act? Penny can be…can be…how shall I put this?"

"Don't worry Dr. Cooper. She really was something to behold though. She made me feel like I did way back in my residency days. She reminded me of this nurse when I first started out. She had this way of getting under my skin. When she said jump, you said 'how high'. And, she'd give you this look like she was going to bore holes straight through you."

Sheldon could commiserate. Penny was the champion of giving 'the look'.

"I apologize Dr. Martin. Was she rude?"

"No, not rude, just very insistent. She said that you were practically the smartest man on the planet. And if you even lost one IQ point, there would be repercussions."

Sheldon smiled at the thought of Penny protecting his intelligence. "Did those repercussions have anything to do with a rope and a branding iron?"

"Something along those lines."

Sheldon blanched.

"She really is a firecracker that one. You say she's your roommate's girlfriend?"

"Yes." Sheldon looked over at the still sleeping Penny.

"He's a lucky man. I hope he knows what a treasure he's got." He took a long look at Sheldon who was still staring at Penny. "But, I'm sure you do."

Sheldon quickly glanced back at the doctor, his face flushing as though he had been caught doing something wrong.

Dr. Martin got a knowing look on his face and nodded. "Well, you're all set for now. Rosiela will come back with your meds. And, your breakfast should be along soon. You'll be on a soft diet today. And if everything progresses well, you should be out of here tomorrow."

"Thank you doctor."

"Anytime." Dr. Martin turned and started to leave the room.

"Doctor?" Sheldon paused. "May I ask how you dealt with the nurse from when you were a resident?"

Dr. Martin turned back at the door to face Sheldon, and his own face broke into an easy smile. "I married her, of course!"

**At the nurses station**

Rosiela was deftly fending off Howard's advances while Leonard pleaded with her to let them see Sheldon. "Please, he's my roommate!"

"I'm sorry, but visiting hours don't begin until 9:00."

A voice came from behind the group of men. "Leonard?"

The three men turned around and stood face to face with Stephanie Barnett.

Leonard was suddenly bashful. "Hi Steph!"

She turned towards the other two men to greet them. "Howard, Raj. What are you all doing here?"

"Sheldon had surgery last night, and we were trying to see him."

Stephanie looked over their heads to speak to Rosiela. "It's okay Rose, I know them. They can go in."

They all looked to Stephanie with relief. She could have been a ball-buster, but she wasn't.

"Alright Dr. Barnett. He's awake anyway." she gestured the way down the hall. "But keep it down. His wife is still asleep."

Stephanie asked. "When did he get married? And who the hell would want to marry him?"

The guys were already sprinting down the hallway to the room and didn't hear her second question. She shrugged her shoulders, picked up her case files and started her rounds.

Room 212

Leonard burst through the door first. "What the -?"

Howard and Raj were right on his heels. Howard already had his phone out, snapped a few quick pictures and had them uploaded on Facebook before Raj got his jaw to re-hinge.

"Sheldon, why is Penny in bed with you?" Leonard snapped out.

"Do I need to state the obvious to you Leonard? She's sleeping!" A soft groan issued from next to Sheldon. "Or rather, she was sleeping."

Penny blinked her eyes in rapid succession. Leonard's whiny voice had pulled her out of her slumber. She sat up in the bed and ran her fingers through her hair with her left hand. "Shut up!" She couldn't help but be a little whiny herself. She was still dog tired.

Howard snapped another picture. Leonard smacked him in the upper arm. "Stop it!"

"What? It's a classic shot!" he backed away from Leonard anyway.

Penny was sleep deprived and confused. "What?"

Raj only covered his mouth to hide his smile and pointed at her with the other.

"What!?"

Leonard pointed to her face and then to his own cheek. "You've got something -"

She reached up with both hands. Sheldon's cell phone was stuck to her face.

_Great! Though stranger things have happened before!_

"Penny?" Sheldon's voice drifted up beside her.

She turned to him. "Oh hey honey. How are you?"

"I am well Penny, but could you stop jostling the bed?"

"Oh, oh, sure. Here let me get up." She stood up and turned to straighten the linens around Sheldon. She smiled down at him, and then turned on the other three. "It's about time you showed up!"

"Yeah, well. We only just got the messages." Leonard changed the subject. "Why did the nurse think you're Sheldon's wife?"

"Oh yeah, that." She looked down at her feet. They were all staring at her. "They wouldn't let me see him after her collapsed in the E.R. unless I was a relative. So, I said I was his wife."

Leonard took the answered in stride. Of course, this was a reasonable explanation. This was Penny, and Sheldon was just, Sheldon.

Raj burst his bubble when he whispered a question to Howard. Howard nodded his head. "Why didn't you say you were his sister?"

Penny looked nonplussed. She didn't know why she didn't say sister, except that it never even crossed her mind. The word wife had come out almost automatically.

"Again, it's quite obvious." Sheldon said, looking very pleased with himself. "She looks nothing like my sister."

Raj whispered again to Howard.

"I agree man, even your sister doesn't look anything like you Sheldon, and might I add that we're all eternally grateful for that!"

Sheldon made a face. This conversation was going places he didn't want it to go. And speaking of to go.

"Penny?"

"Yeah, Sweetie?"

"I need to urinate."

She was not helping on this one. "Do you need a bedpan? Do you want me to call the nurse?"

"I should be able to use the restroom on my own. I may however need assistance in getting out of the bed."

Penny was around the other side of the bed in a flash. "Leonard, stand on his other side." Together they helped him get up out of the bed.

He took a few steps on his own, and then wobbled a bit. "I may need some further assistance."

"Okay, who wants to help Sheldon into the little boy's room?" Penny eyed each of them in turn.

Howard piped up. "How about rock, paper, scissors, lizard, Spock?"

Penny wasn't having it. "You guys were at a movie marathon all night! Well, it's 'game over' time. Its eeny, meeny, miny, YOU!" She pointed to Raj. "And don't think that's the worst thing you've got to do today!"

Raj helped Sheldon into the bathroom. Leonard turned to Howard and asked under his breath, "What do you think she meant by that?"

Howard shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know, but I don't think it's good."

Penny only smiled wickedly at them.

Once Sheldon was safely back in bed, she turned to Leonard. "I need your car keys please."

He looked warily at her. "Um, why?" as he pulled out his key ring from his pocket to hand to her.

"Because." She held out her hand palm up. "I'm driving your car home. And you three are taking mine and cleaning all the vomit out of it!"

Howard made a gagging sound. Penny fished through her purse and threw her keys at Leonard.

She gave him a death glare. "Payback is a bitch, wouldn't you say?"

She marched them to the door pushing at their backs. She turned back to look at Sheldon and grinned. "When I'm your best friend, I take it seriously."

"Penny?" Sheldon's own smile beamed back at her. Yes, she definitely was a treasure. And he was never going to lose her.

"Sheldon?"

"Is it junior rodeo time?"

Her wicked smile returned. "Oh Sweetie, it's only just begun!"

She blew him a kiss and was out the door.

_FIN_

* * *

Thank you to all the kind reviewers. Every review was truly very much appreciated. Until next time, I bid you adieu!


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